Arsene Wenger and various executive suits at the Arsenal Desperates (Degenerates?) Stadium today issued a statement to the effect that, following accusations that skipper Cesc Fabregas spat at Hull City assistant manager Brian Horton, AND at kraut carrot-cruncher Michael Ballack in a game against Bayern Scrunchen four years ago.
"Cesc Fabregas did not intentionally spit at anybody," an Arse suit announced. "He is a nice Spanish boy who unfortunately happens to suffer from hyperactivity of the salivary glands. He has problems with his dribbling. And his dress sense."
"Zis is true," manager Arsene Wenger added. "Ze boy has terrible problems with over production of saliva. He drools all ze time, like El Hadji Diouf. Although I have not yet seen it. I did see Diouf spit at the Celtic supporters though and thought it fucking disgusting.
"Cesc, I didn't see, but there are medical reasons. Trust me."
Oh no, moaned this author. I spelt Djiouf wrong didn't I?
More as we get it