Written by Karl Mercer
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Wednesday, 18 March 2009

image for Everyone seeks Tevez Compensation
Carlos Tevez looking happy before this saga began.

It seems that the recent saga over CarlosTevezGate looks set to continue as the government considers putting in a claim for the entire populace.

It seems that since Sheffield United decided to ignore the fact that they were shite and blame an excellent powerful and tricky little Argie instead, everyone else wishes to also; including individual players, the manager of Sheffield United, and now money-grabbing-son-of-a-bitch Leeds chairman Ken 'Master' Bates wants a piece of the action to.

This has led to Gordon Brown initiating a new plan to restore the country's economy by also filing for compensation, for the entire nation, and pooling it all into a 'lets pay bankers to affirm what has always been suspected in rhyming slang' fund. This would hopefully stabilise the economy, whilst only having an effect on a bunch of cheeky cockney hooligans who give oral sex to Michael Jackson's monkey (allegedly.)

When asked for his opinion on the matter, Carlos Tevez said "This has caused great anguish for me and my family. I have come to this country to play football and not to cause controversy. I was unaware of the situation, and as such, I will be suing West Ham and claiming compensation for damages to my career, my integrity, and my reputation."

A spokesperson for West Ham United said "All of us here at West Ham are sickened by the conduct of West Ham...As such, we are all filing a compensation claim against West Ham..."

So it seems the saga continues, as literally everyone jumps on the 'lets sue West Ham' bandwagon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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