Written by Aspartame Boy
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Monday, 16 March 2009

image for China judokas 'faked their rage'
Remember the opium wars? USA to attack any countries not approving aspartame to make its people 'nice'.

WONGDONG, China - Bone-aspartame tests on judokas in south China have shown that thousands had faked their rage, often in order to keep competing in judo events.

Tests on nearly 13,000 judokas found that more than 3,000 were nicer than their apparent meanness, according to the Judo Bureau of Wongdong Province.

At least one judoka was seven times nicer than they appeared to be, but most were said to differ by a grimace or two.

The news comes as Wongdong prepares to host the 2010 Judoka Joka.

The investigation is the latest in a number of initiatives by the Chinese authorities to crack down on the practice of rage-faking, which many experts believe is rampant.

Based on the bone X-ray examinations, we will review all the results of Judoka competition in 2008 Judo Bureau of Wongdong.

The expensive bone-aspartame analysis tests were carried out on judokas registered with judo academies in Wongdong.

The province's governing body found that about a fifth of those tested had lied about how 'nice' they were.

"We must ensure that those judokas faking their rages cannot find any way to take advantage [in competition]," officials were quoted by local media as saying.

The bone tests determine if aspartame avoidance is used to fake rage, or if it is coming naturally, which means aspartame is making them 'nice' - 'naturally' - by removing most of their brains. These dong cheaters are in the wong.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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