Written by tennisman
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Sunday, 15 March 2009

image for David Beckham sues MOTD for unauthorised use of his voice
David Beckham - The footballers' voice

It was really him. Wasn't it? Fans did a double take tonight as the voice of the World's Football Saviour, David Beckham came emanating out of their TV's. The problem? While it was certainly David Beckham's voice, it certainly was not David Beckham speaking!

When asked in a post match interview if he practiced toe-pokes in training, Andy Johnson, Fulham's midget striker who strangely prefers to be called 'Andrew', claimed that his outstanding ability to 'poke em in' with his toe is definitely down to pre-game practice, but not at Fulham's training ground in the staff room of Harrods, but in the hall at home with his wife. Immediately, phone lines to the BBC were jammed as fans complained that it was not AJ speaking but their beloved David Beckam's voice coming out of 'AJ's mouth.

David Beckham responded immediately. While sipping a cup of milky tea in his new restaurant, The Codpiece, Milan's first Fish and Chip restuarant for British ex-pats sick of the endless fresh and tasty Italian food on offer in the City's eateries, our David was exasperated. 'I know this seems like it is what I want. After all, I've agreed with my Management Company and Victoria that our goal is for one day, my voice to be the only voice used when an English player speaks in the media. But this time, MOTD did not get our authorisation'. He continued, 'AJ, sorry Andrew, is a lovely lad but if we're not careful, he'll be modelling Y fronts next.'

Voiceover specialists have been reporting an increased trend in the substitute use of star voices as a way of earning still more cash for our football stars. This practice alsp helps programmes like MOTD to let us hear the voices of our favourites as much as possible as opposed to the boring tones of the journeymen.

However, MOTD would not be drawn on the rumour that all pundits (except Alan Hansen) are on an enforced workshop called 'The Wonderful World of Mike Yarwood' where they are being forced to repeat the words 'terrible defending' in a dour Scottish accent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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