Written by Don Ford
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Topics: Satan, Hell

Wednesday, 23 June 2004

Early this morning news broke from hell that a deal has been finalized between Satan and a Chicago man that will result in a guaranteed trip to the World Series for the Chicago Cubs.

The terms of the deal are believed to be the Chicago man�s soul going to Satan in exchange for the Cubs assurance of going to the 2004 World Series.

When asked why he could only guarantee a trip to the World Series and not a World Series championship Satan said �C�mon what did you expect? I�m not God! The Cubs winning the World Series� That would take a miracle.�

The Cubs have not been to the World Series since 1945 and are believed to hindered by �The Curse of the Goat�

The Chicago Man�s name was not disclosed but he is being referred to as the �Anti-Bartman�. In a press release today the man said �Selling my soul to Satan was a last resort but eternity in hell might be quicker than waiting for the Cubs to make the World Series on their own.�

In a related story Ben Affleck is reportedly making progress in negotiations to get the Boston Red Sox to the fall classic as well. The two sides are still believed to be far apart due to Satan�s lingering hard feelings over the movie Dogma.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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