Written by Roy Turse
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Thursday, 5 March 2009

image for Cheryl Cole Arrested
Cheryl has represented England more than sixty times

Chelsea and England Footballer Cheryl Cole was arrested today following an attempt to scale Mount Kilimanjaro in a charity stunt for Comic Relief. Cheryl, who is married to West Ham striker Carlton Cole is alleged to have become abusive to police after a drinking session that is thought to have been fuelled by claims of infidelity.

Joe Cole, who also plays for Chelsea and England but is no relation to Cheryl, but is married to retired England forward Andy Cole, said that he had thought originally that the article had been about Girls Aloud singer and X-Factor panelist Ashley Cole.

In the next few days it is thought that Cheryl, Joe, Carlton, Andy and Ashley would all be meeting up in Cheryl's home town, prompting the inevitable proverb-based headlines.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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