Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 1 March 2009

image for Gordon Ramsey A Closet Celtic Fan
Ok that's two steak, one pasta and one salmon

Gordon Ramsey, celebrity chef, serial philanderer, foul mouthed hooligan and Scotsman has been revealed as a secret Celtic supporter. His previous claims to have been a footballer with Glasgow Rangers are now exposed as nothing more than lies.

Previously Ramsey was thought to have been played at youth level for both Oxford United and Rangers. It can now be revealed that Oxford do not have a youth team. They do not have a first team. Just a bunch of less than enthusiastic amateurs. And Ramsey never played for Rangers.

However, there is documentary evidence of a Gordon Ramsey turning out for Celtic bhoys. So it would seem that the chef has altered his past in order to further his career. When asked to comment Ramsey said "Why don't you fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off"".

A spokesperson for Glasgow Rangers said "He used to be one of the cooks here. But we got rid of him. Got that Blummenthal guy instead. He likes to make old recipes and he made one from when we last one the title".

Latest score: Celtic 2 Rangers 0 Ramsey sent off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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