Written by JamesSheard1984
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Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for Platini Plan To Deal With "Unfair Competiveness" Of English Clubs In The Champions League.
Kicking opposing players in the face is bad form, really.

Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Manchester United may have got roughly the results they were looking for tonight but they haven't managed to do without receiving the wrath of football's most well dressed and incompetent man since Sepp Blatter.

Micheal Platini the UEFA President is well known already of course as a previous European Cup winner himself in 1985 and as a former Miss France runner-up in 1979.

Since this latest series of successes for the English sides he has been greatly angered at what he describes as the "unfair competiveness" of the English sides in recent years.

In an accent that would be an embarrassment to even a third rate impersonator, the Gaulic hero claimed "Eez not fah. Ze Engleesh cloubs are guing out and playink football ze the English way and winnink with no respect for our technical superiority"

He was particularly scaving of the style of English football. Adding that English players like John Terry, Stephan Gerrard and Christiano Ronaldo were typical of the kind of destructive footballers, who were ruining the game by not letting any one else win.

The UEFA President added that if English clubs weren't beaten soon he would take serious action by,

  1. Calling their Mum fat.
  2. Stealing their pocket money
  3. "Decking them in" on the school bus
  4. Sitting on the ball to stop English sides from scoring
  5. Taking the ball home with him so no-one else could play

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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