In a unprecedented move, Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,spiritual head of the Church of England and defender of the Faith, has been signed to a two year contract with English Premier League glamour side Manchester United Football Club, with an impressive sign on fee of 2.3 million pounds.
Manchester United officials were beside themselves with elation after Her Maj signed the contract at Windsor Castle late last week. She had secretly been attending training sessions with the first team for a couple of weeks and was spotted by a photographer leaving one session, ubiquitous handbag on her arm.
It has not been revealed which position the Queen will play however many armchair experts believe that she has a big future in the striking role.
"She kicks plenty of asses at Buckingham Palace, why wouldn't scoring goals be any different" said Lester Bullwinkle, a long term Man U supporter. Many ex Manchester and England Internationals are overjoyed with the news.
"Yes, she'll be the best thing to hit English football since Rupert Murdoch" declared Bobby Charlton, a former great with the red devils and his national team. In the midst of all this euphoria, there is going to be at least one discordent reaction.
"Um, isn't she, um, a bit old. Like, she's over 80 years of age'n'all" said one Manchester follower who refused to be identified. In spite of this, the overall feelings of football fans the world over is "kick 'em hard Liz".