Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for Hull City Fans Horror At State Of Chelsea Toilets
Not fit for human consumption

There was widespread condemnation from Hull City fans at Stamford Bridge today, over what they described as the 'unhygienic state of toilet facilities' provided for away fans at Chelsea.

Some fans claimed the toilets were "not fit for animals", and said they were upset with the putrid smell, clarted bowls and lack of space provided.

One fan, who wished to remain nameless, said:

"The bloke next to me pissed all over me trainers!"

Another said:

"Me wife wanted to do a number 2, but she said there was no paper. She had to nip 'er cheeks in until we could get to a McDonalds after the game!"

Even the Chelsea fans were forced to agree about the poor facilities, and showed their sympathy with the Tigers' fans by booing enthusiastically as the referee blew the final whistle.

Hull manager Phil Brown was also critical of the Bridge bogs. He said:

"Those bloody shithouses were the worst I've seen in the Premiership. Disgusten!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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