Written by McKiernan
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Topics: Pig, Rafael Nadal

Friday, 6 February 2009

image for Nadal's Throat Is A Bay Of Pig
The reason for Nadal's Throaty cough possibly!

Tennis Superstar Rafael Nadal has revealed the secret agony that has afflicted him since breaking on the Tennis scene in 2005; he has a tiny pig lodged in his throat.

The Majorcan Maestro,22,from Majorca shocked the Tennis and Pig world this morning when being interviewed on Daytime TV in Barcelona. He revealed that "Every Spanish kid since 1980 has had what the Government call a 'Patriot Pig' implanted into their vocal cords. It doesn't do anything unless you try to speak a different language than Spanish. When another language is spoken the Patriot Pig starts grunting in an effort to make you stop. It's very depressing."

The revelation has helped come to explain why Nadal's English is very poor and why his voice catches in a disturbingly bad grunt at certain letters and syllables when he speaks English in interviews.

"I was fed up with people thinking I was ignorant and was refusing to learn English properly. Believe me if Roger Federer was Spanish he'd sound like a mentally deficient child as well."
Nadal is hoping that his coming out will encourage more people to admit the problem and hopes it will eventually lead to the abolition of Patriot Pig. And just to prove it: " I hope that in my coming out more people will be encouraged to admit the problem and I hope it will eventually lead to the abolition of Patriot Pig". See!

Rafa is going under the knife tomorrow in Majorca for the World's first 'Pigectomy' and will recover for two weeks before giving his first interview in perfect English. We wish him God speed. Hope his surgeon's an Ace!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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