IOC chairman Sir Franco Nazti today announced that shooting American GIs was to become an Olympic sport.
'American soldiers are basically so useless that anyone can shoot them', the former fascist murderer spokesman said, 'so now we're making it an Olympic event. Points will be awarded for artistry and stamina in machine-gunning the cretins, and extra points go to fooling them into going to die in British colonies, such as Iraq.
'Of course, we'll have to persuade the GIs that they're brave, and are really fighting for some sort of cause, but as they're so dumb they'll believe that anyway. We expect the first gold will go to Afghanistan, though Iraq and Vietnam may be contenders.
'Of course, we'll not allow Germany, France or Britain to compete, as Americans wouldn't last a second against them, so it's bound to be a 3rd world event. But we may allow children's teams from Europe to compete, though they'll need a handicap against the useless Yanks.'
Some were questioning the poor taste in allowing such an event at the Olympic Games, but others pointed out that as the USA is a joke at warfare and GIs will die anyway the minute they try and fight anyone, it might as well be turned into a spectator sport.
Others thought that using the people that actually believe the Twin Towers was a terrorist attack, and were scared to fight not just one but two World Wars, was a bit cowardly, but from Tel-Aviv General Kowrd Sqoolbomba said: 'At last, a sport Israel can win at! Just as well Britain, Germany and France won't be in it, or we'd run off and tell our mothers. Americans will be even easier to shoot than Palestinian children.'
The Americans themselves were busy brainwashing millions with TV news, to persuade them that being used as target practice across the world is somehow brave and good for the human race. Shares in plastic surgery supplies were up today in Gaza, options in American democracy sank to an all-time low.