An anonymous professional footballer, currently playing in the lower leagues of the English divisions, has sent shock waves through the footballing world by passing the theory part of his driving test at the FIRST attempt.
The young Einstein has really bucked the stereotype of footballers being drooling monuments to intellectual nothingness with his astonishing mark of getting 86% of the tricky driving questions correct. The man in question does not want to be named for fear of becoming a laughing stock at football grounds around the country or, even worse, facing reprisals from fellow footballers who may resent the possibility that this may cause the public to change their long held belief that footballers are thicker than two of the thickest pair of planks from Thickplanksville.
The brainy left back was only prepared to say that since the news broke his teammates have been ribbing him mercilessly. "They all call me names like The Professor or Teacher. Its becoming quite embarrassing. Only yesterday I came out to the car park and found a wheelchair in my parking space instead of my car with its L plates on. Its something to do with them comparing me to a bloke called Steve Hawking, but I have never heard of him".
And how was the renaissance of football going to spend his day off and celebrate his test results? "Well its Sunday so I am off to my girlfriends Mums for a roast." Proof that, deep down, he is just a normal professional footballer.