Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 23 January 2009

image for Manchester United Aiming For Record FA Cup Win Against Tottenham
Jimmy Ross, who scored 7 times in Preston's 1887 victory

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has caused controversy tonight ahead of tomorrow's FA Cup fourth round tie against Tottenham Hotspur, by telling reporters that his players will be going all-out to break the all-time scoring record for the competition.

The record currently belongs to Preston North End, who hammered Hyde 26-0 on 15 October 1887, but United are confident that, with Spurs fielding a much-weakened side, they can score even more goals than their Lancashire neighbours did 121 years ago.

United are at full strength, but Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has decided to give several of his team a well-deserved rest after their gruelling ordeal at the hands of Burnley during the Carling Cup battle on Wednesday, which they eventually won 3-2.

Sir Alex, speaking through an interpretor, said:

"We're gonna wallop those Southern bums! Expect a hatful of goals!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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