Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Manchester City Buy Manchester United
Gary Neville tries on his new shirt

More drama at Eastlands where, after the failed Kaka bid this morning, Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour called an extraordinary emergency board meeting during which plans were finalised to buy Manchester United.

City had offered AC Milan £107million for the Brazilian but, when that failed, the oil-rich billionaire decided enough was enough. He told reporters:

"To Hell with the pussy-footing around! I'm buying Manchester United!"

He then outlined details of an audacious bid of over £30trillion to buy the Old Trafford club, its players, stadium and fans before next weekend's game with West Bromwich Albion at the Hawthorns. City do not have a game until 28th January, and it's thought this will give Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Gary Neville et al enough time to get used to the idea of pulling on a sky blue shirt rather than a red one.

There was shock around Manchester at the news.

City fan Mike Deggers said:

"Sawright innit. All them star larkers. Mite win summat now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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