Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

image for Kaka rejects City
Milanese fans celebrate

Brazilian world superstar Kaka has turned down a £100million transfer to nouveau riche club, Manchester City overnight.

The Brazilian attacking midfielder was originally offered personal terms of half a million pounds a week, but Kaka has claimed all along that he was never interested in the money, and also now claims that Manchester City never offered the money that is being bandied about.

Speaking through a translator, Kaka told the British Press: "It is well known that I am on a hundred thousand euros a week, of which I give ten percent to charity, and forty percent to my family back in Brazil. I am investing most of the rest for my days after the football has finished. It was never about the money, and instead we were discussing personal terms about where I would live, and where my wife would shop and what the wait for a Ferrari would be."

Kaka revealed that he had been talking to other famous footballers who have worked in Manchester. "David Beckham has told me that he would have loved to play for Milan as it would give Victoria something to do, rather than bug him."

What really entrenched the footballer's mind was speaking to the other Brazilians at Manchester City. "When I spoke to Robinho, he told me to stay away. The weather's too cold, the TV is crap and everybody talks like Liam Gallagher. There is no amount of money in the world that can make up for listening to Gallagher wannabes! Worst still, Mark Hughes could not manage a Subbuteo team."

Mark Hughes declined a press interview. He was trying to find his arse with both hands.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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