A flower vendor outside Fulham Broadway tube station today announced categorically that there was no crisis at Stamford Bridge.
Rumours abounded that Roman Abramovich, the Chelsea 'owner' was 'not best pleased' with his multi-million pound team's total capitulation to Manchester United on Sunday.
Some Chelsea fans suggested that there were problems because a certain Mr Ryan Giggs, aged 35, played Chelsea's midfield off the park.
Big Phil however denied such claims as 'frivolous'.
When asked to explain why striker Didier Drogba was reduced to a shambolic whingeing wreck by his marker, 21 year old rookie, Jonny Evans, Scolari replied:
"He was just better. Evans is quality. I really needed Lamps and JT to step up to the plate but it didn't happen."
We dared to ask Big Phil if his job was safe.
"About as safe as a Chinese coal miner's" he told us.
More as we get it.