Written by IainB
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Friday, 9 January 2009

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Miraculous Escape

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United winger and World Player of the Year walked away from a total write off of his £150,000, two day old Ferrari.

The United number seven had a lucky escape as he was driving to the Carrington based training ground where he was due to do some practising for United's clash with Chelsea at the weekend. A Citreon clipped Ronaldo's wing as they entered a tunnel.

Ronaldo claims that he wasn't speeding, but the slightest and lightest of contact from the French car caused the Portuguese import to lift from the floor and perform eight somersaults before crashing back to Earth and rolling several more times.

Ronaldo emerged from the wreckage and immediately requested that the French car be given a red card, and be sent off.

Unfortunately for Ronaldo, the Citreon had sped off and was hiding behind a German BMW and a Japenese Nissan.

Despite the seemingly horrific impact, Ronaldo walked away unharmed and he continued to the ground in his Bentley brought to him by his personal assistant.

Later, in a Press Conference, Ronaldo told reporters that he would be seeking video evidence to retrospectively punish the French car, and that he would be buying a new Ferrari once he'd saved up enough, which should be a fortnight later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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