Following the resignations and sackings at the English Cricket Team, the team manager, Howe Zatt, today announced the new team coach.
After a night-long session reviewing CVs and specifications, and countless re-runs of the Mike Lamb/Ian Botham British Lamb animated TV advertisement, the decision was reached in the early hours of this morning.
At a press conference held an hour ago, it was announced that the new coach will be a converted 57-seat Van Hool, with full DVD and TV on-board entertainment, two toilets, a fully-fitted galley and sleeping accommodation for the entire team when cricket comes on the tv and bores them to sleep.
An excited director of cricket, speaking from Lords Cricket ground, was said to be delighted.
"I know the team members had their differences of opinion, but I feel that overall, the Van Hool was the safest choice as official coach."