Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 4 January 2009

image for Ipswich Town To Be Thrown Out Of FA Cup?
A couple of disgruntled Ipswich fans after the news

Ipswich Town, who yesterday beat Chesterfield in the 3rd round of the FA Cup, are this morning the subject of an FA investigation after it was revealed that they may have fielded an inelligible fan.

Chesterfield were only involved in the game as a result of the expulsion of Droylsden, their opponents in the second round. In that game, the non-leaguers also fielded an inelligible player, who then went on to score both of their goals in a famous 2-1 win.

After their reprieve, Chesterfield travelled to Portman Road yesterday full of hope, but were soundly trounced 3-0, and their Cup dream was once again over.

Until, that is, one of the Ipswich fans was arrested last night on his way home from the game.

Egbert 'Eggy' Olssen, a local farmer, was stopped by police driving his tractor on the A12 at Martlesham Heath, on the way home to his tiny smallholding at Saxmundham. He was speeding.

Farmer Olssen had been banned from driving after he trundled his tractor the 550-mile round trip to Blackpool to see his team in the infamous 1-0 'David Norris' win in November.
He was also banned from Portman Road for 6 months, until clocks go forward again.

Now, after the yokel farmer admitted attending yesterday's cuptie, FA officials are considering whether they should expel Ipswich from the competition, and allow the Spireites through to the 4th round.

Chesterfield manager, Lee Richardson, said:

"We deserve a bit of luck. We had them on the rack for a lot of the pre-match warm-up, and if the lad shouldn't have been at the game, who am I to argue with the FA ruling?"

Ipswich boss, Jim Magilton, disagreed. He said:

"He's a bloody fan, for Christ's sake! The Cup seems to have Chesterfield's name on it!"

The policeman who pulled Famer Olssen over, Sgt Bryan Gunn, a Norwich City fan, said:

"The Canaries are still in it after a wonderful draw at the Valley, and my wager that they will get further in the competition than our arch-rivals, is looking pretty safe."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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