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Friday, 2 January 2009

image for Attacks on Gazza condemned by everyone, everywhere
Gazza in his lighter footballing days

The recent horrific attacks on Gazza have been condemned by virtually everyone as unjust and unnecessarily harsh, the latest, coming as it does from a 12-year boy old called Regan, named after the original Sweeney pilot movie, who simply wishes that "Gaza would go away".

Paul Gasmeter is a professional footballer, phlegm spitter and actor who received the nickname Gazza during a drinking session following a Crystal Palace Match where he kept repeatedly asking, in his unusual Northern accent, for a local beer the entire night - "I'll 'ave a Palace Tinny 'un, wai ai man".

The attacks on Gazza began in the mid 1990's, and despite intervention by ambassadors - at least that's what we think Gazza called them - such as Lord Robby of Bobson, Prince Alexandra of Fergie, Sir Matthew BuzzSaw and Baron Alf of Ramsbottom, there appears to be no let up.

The press seems to be the most unforgiving, picking on every move Gazza makes and accusing him of having a drink problem.

Gazza himself says; "Ay divvna have nae drink problem at all man. Wy Ai. Neet.

"Ay drink. Ay fall over.

"Nah problem man. Wy Ai divna just th'bottle Ai like hittin' man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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