Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 2 January 2009

image for Steve Gerrard To Be Fined Two Weeks' Wages
Two weeks' pay - disgusting!

Steven Gerrard, the Liverpool captain, received the worst news possible this morning, when Anfield officials, keen to nip media criticism of the star in the bud, fined the midfielder two weeks' wages.

The fine is a massive blow for Gerrard, who was arrested by Merseyside Police on Monday morning after a serious 'Bingo incident' at a Southport nightclub. He has, subsequently, been charged with a fray and some salt.

The Liverpool no.7 was told about the fine by manager Rafa Benitez, who had earlier pledged the club's full support. Now, however, there seems to have been a change of mind from the Anfield board, who obviously believe that Gerrard needs to be made fully aware of his actions, and how potentially damaging it could be for the club.

"In view of this," reads a statement on the Reds' website, "we have decided to fine Steven Gerrard two weeks' pay, and not a penny less."

The full impact of this cannot be properly appreciated by mere mortals.

Gerrard earns more than £100,000-a-week, and a fine of £200,000 is, therefore, a huge amount of money, bearing in mind the case against him is, as yet, unproven.

Liverpool fans were in shock this morning. One, Mickey Muckler, 21, said:

"I feel sorry for Stevie G. He's done nutten wrong, and to get such a big fine ...ah, I just can't believe it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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