Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 29 December 2008

image for Steven Gerrard Arrested In Dispute Over Bill
A waitress clears up this morning

England and Liverpool footballer Steven Gerrard has been arrested in Southport after an incident with a restaurant owner.

Police were called to the Lounge Inn on Bold Street in Southport at 02.30am following the disturbance, which appears to have been a dispute over the payment of a bill. Six other diners were later arrested in a nearby street.

The men, four from Huyton, one from Formby and one from Litherland, remain in police custody.

Gerrard, who had scored two of Liverpool's goals in their 5-1 hammering of Newcastle United earlier yesterday, had gone out to celebrate with friends, and had stopped off at the restaurant for a traditional fish supper.

The Reds skipper marched in and ordered his usual Haddock and Chips with mushy peas, bread and butter and a cup of tea, costing £6.95. Four others in his group ordered the same. One man, believed to be from Formby, chose Sausage and Chips with Beans, and some 'Coke'.

The last member of the group had a Chicken Biriyani from the Taj Mahal Tandoori next door. He paid separately.

When the owner of the Lounge Inn asked the Gerrard group to pay for their meals, it appears that they pretended to be Spanish, in order to avoid payment. A fight erupted, and there was fish everywhere.

Staff at the restaurant were staying tight-lipped about the incident this morning, and were under orders from the owner to "clean up the mess".

It's not the only thing that's 'a bit fishy' on Merseyside at the moment, with Everton fans claiming that Liverpool's meteoric rise to the top of the Premier League has also got "a bit of a funny smell to it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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