Written by J Turner
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Monday, 29 December 2008

image for Droylsden receive marching orders...again!

FA cup villains Droylsden FC were dealt a second blow in 24 hours today as Prime Minister Gordon Brown confirmed that the town may be subject to expulsion from the UK.

The town - whose football team was kicked out of the FA cup earlier today following the fielding of an ineligible player in their second round tie against Chesterfield - was left reeling following this latest round of revelations, which were revealed in a leaked Home Office memo.

The investigation became public after a Gordon Browne, a Manchester publican, was mistakenly sent the memo in a christmas e-card.

Browne, 55 said: "I opened my email account as usual, after making a cup of strong coffee as is my routine in a morning. I couldn't believe my eyes - 300 unread spam emails trying to sell my viagra, at very reasonable prices. There was also a message from the home office. The tablets arrived within 48 hours."

It is thought that the government is looking into the possibility of expulsion after a new EU regulation named Atricle 584 (C.H.A.V) was accepted in Brussels.

Droylsden mayor Mickey Arsecrack has already gone public condemning the investigation and has stated that the town will appeal if they are kicked out of the UK.

However, a leading political commentator has confirmed that things don't look good for the Greater Manchester borough. Sly Donmepole, who worked closely with the UK government from 2001-5, has predicted that the town will most probably be sold to one of the world's rising superpowers; "in my experience, the most likely destination is China, Russia or Narnia".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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