Written by Honest Lee
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Monday, 29 December 2008

image for Pub cricket team set world record - nearly
The last wicket is down and Darren Polish can go to the pub

A remarkable ninth-wicket partnership of 8, the third best in pub cricket history, saw the Dog and Sausage establish an unlikely first-innings lead of 6 in Manchester.

Brian Slogger was the last man to fall for a magnificent 4.

The Slogger-led fightback included Derek Pilchard's 3 and an extraordinary 6 from Arthur Oaktree in a total of 22.

At stumps, the Crossed Arms pub from Dulwich were 4-5 in the early stages of their second innings.

Slogger had made his pub debut in Plymouth, where he hit a wonderfully composed 1 not out in the Dog's famous successful chase of 14.

The 24-year-old trumped that effort, though, with this terrific display of concentration in which he faced 39 deliveries and drank 18 pints between overs.

And he found a particularly adhesive partner in number 10 batsman Oaktree, who himself hung around for 16 pints.

Their partnership, played out before a disbelieving and dishelved crowd of 7 at the Greater Lipton University Ground, spanned nearly 24 overs from well before lunch until beyond the beer interval.

It was a sorry day for the Crossed Arms bowlers, who desperately missed the cutting edge of Barry Noble. The experienced paceman missed the day's play with a sore nose after falling from his barstool the previous evening.

Slogger allowed Oaktree- dropped three times by Crossed Arms in the field - to hit most of the extravagant shots in their stand, as he mainly nudged and scampered towards his towering score.

He spent an hour on 2 and there was relief when he cut Bacon through gully for one, raised both arms and kissed his helmet badge. His team-mates had come down to the boundary edge to applaud his terrific effort.

Pilchard's best moments came when he hit Blunderbus for two straight drives for one and mirrored the shot off Darren Polish to bring up his highest ever score. His personal memories will also include the tremendous defensive stroke off Nathan Halfwit.

The off-spinner spent the day more as the bowler who has struggled to get out of the bar in recent seasons, rather than a man with the skill to remove Slogger and Oaktree on Saturday.

"We've got a big day tomorrow after a big session tonight. We're going to have to come out and bat really well and then we'll wait and see what happens. I still believe if we can walk tomorrow we can get ourselves into a position to win this match."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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