Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 12 December 2008

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McKenna: Tigers to win 2-1

Hull City, the 'Premiership newboys', its 'young pretenders', and 'relegation favourites', take on League leaders Liverpool at Anfield tomorrow, and will win, according to Tigers fan, Paula McKenna.

Paula, who has been following City for more than 50 years, is a fortune teller, and knows the team's results long before most other fans have had a chance to buy their tickets for the game.

Peering into her crystal ball earlier this week, Paula predicted, nay, assured us, that the Tigers will overcome an early goal, and eventually beat the Reds 2-1. She said that Brazilian star, Geovanni, would score the winner with one of his trademark thunderbolts in front of the Kop.

Paula successfully predicted that City would change their strip for the new season to their traditional Tiger stripes, and that the average gate would increase to over 20,000. She is, perhaps, best known for her assertion that Dean Windass would still be playing this season, being as he is, "well into his 40s".

Liverpool are unbeaten at Anfield in the Premier League this season, but manager Rafa Benitez, whose own mother was a gypsy, knows all too well the dangers of discounting 'what has been read in the stars'.

Miss McKenna, 68, is 'ghost predictor' to a host of media personalities including the BBC pundit Mark Lawrenson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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