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Topics: Economy, Yankees

Thursday, 11 December 2008

image for Yankees Buy CC Sabathia for Record Amount: We Paid by the Pound
Scrap metal sales from House that Ruth Built will cover Sabathia's first week on the job

The Steingrabber Twins and appropriately named GM cashman have shattered the salary records again by offering pitching ace, CC Sabathia 161 million dollars.

The blockbuster price tag set off the usual chorus of Yankee haters and their perennial pleas about buying World Championships despite the fact that the highest payroll in the majors has come up empty since 2000.

Cashman defended the exorbitant bonus: "CC insisted that we pay him by the pound. At first, I thought he meant British currency but then he pulled out a gigantic balance scale, stripped naked and climb up into one of the buckets.

"The Steingrabbers started to load the other side and by the time we balanced the scales CC was going for $500,000.a pound for his corpulent 322 lbs of Hall of Fame pitching frame. It reminded us all of the time Steingrabber the Elder paid Reggie Jackson by the size of his mouth."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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