Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 10 December 2008

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Maud applauds Chesterfield's sportsmanship today

Chesterfield fans applauded their team's fantastic sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct last night, after they allowed one of their opponents to walk up the pitch, and blast the ball into an empty net.

The Spireites, of League Two, were playing Droylsden of the Blue Square North Division in their FA Cup second round match, when one of their number, the evil Jack Lester, instead of giving the ball back to the opposing side, who had kicked it into touch when a player got injured, scored with a clever lob, leaving Droylsden 'keeper Craig Mawson 'a bit peeved'.

Realising the injustice of it all, and in the true spirit of football, and, indeed, in keeping with Great Britishness, Chesterfield then sat down and allowed Bloods centre-half Steve Halford to wander upfield unhindered and unchallenged, and to hammer the ball into an empty home net.

The game ended fairly and squarely 2-2, and the teams will now have to replay the fixture at a time convenient to both, to settle the tie.

Chesterfield fans were quick to praise their team. One fan, George Eckythump, said:

"Our lads did us proud. Apart from that Lester, that is."

Another, Maud Grimsdyke, 91, told our reporter:

"Daft bastards. We were 2-1 up, and all's fair in love and war. And football!"

Spireites manager Lee Richardson said:

"We like to play fair and square. We always stand aside and invite the other team onto the pitch before we go on, and I tell my players to apologise for late tackles. We don't dive, and I insist on my lads saying 'please' and 'thank you'.

"We are one of the most polite and well-mannered teams currently playing the game. It's the sporting way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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