Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 1 December 2008

image for Cristiano Ronaldo Defended By Sir Alex Ferguson
Ronaldo: what on Earth was he doing?

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United whinger sent off in the 1-0 derby win against Manchester City on Sunday, should not have been sent off, and a penalty to United should have been awarded, says Reds manager Alex Ferguson.

Ferguson leapt to the defence of his Portuguese star today, after referee Howard Webb showed Ronaldo the red card, when he handled the ball in the City penalty area from a Wayne Rooney corner.

He claimed that football is so unfair, and particularly so when United are involved.

The Scot raged that United players are always targetted by other players, and never seem to benefit from refereeing decisions, despite the fact that they regularly pay hefty bribes.

Sir Alex said:

"He tried to stop the ball from hitting his face.

"He thought he had heard a whistle.

"He got a little push as well.

"He punched the ball.

"The crowd played a part.

"It was foggy.

"It was a full moon.

"He fancied fondling someone's balls.

"He's a cheat.

"Those are the reasons he handled the ball. We get this all the time. The refs don't know what they're doing. Whatever the case, it should have been a penalty to us, and would have been if Rob Styles had been the ref!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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