Written by John Langlois
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Monday, 1 December 2008

image for BCS Software Revises Alabama Football History

In an unexpected revision of the past 6 years of BCS history, the recent routing by number one rated Alabama of their arch-rival, Auburn by a score of 36-0, resulted in more than just one win in Tuscaloosa.

The BCS program distributed the excess points scored by the Crimson Tide from the most recent game over the preceding 6 years and awarded victories for all of those games to Alabama. In the past 6 years, Alabama had scored 153 points to Auburn's 140.

A somewhat startled spokesman for the BCS said, "Well, we originally wrote that program to give Oklahoma a way to get to the BCS championship game, even though they lost to Texas. We never dreamed the program would re-write other dimensions of the game."

Auburn officials were obviously upset by the news, not so much because it extended their losing total to Alabama from 39 games to 45, but because the math involved in calculating the point totals exceeded three digits, a discipline reserved for their graduate students.

A spokesman for the Crimson Tide, sporting a T-shirt that read "Hell, Auburn, even Tulane scored!" stated in press conference,

"We don't need the BCS to work its magic. We have earned our spot at number one by beating over half of the top-ten teams in the country. We can't help it if they dropped out of the top ten after losing to us… But hey, if they are going to re-write things anyway… could we use our excess points on last year's games with Georgia and LSU, too?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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