Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

image for Terry Butcher Refuses To Shake Hands With Madonna
Madonna tries to shake Butcher's hand

Former England defender Terry Butcher, now the Scotland assistant coach, regurgitated his now-famous acrimonious dispute with all things Argentinian last night, but also started a new row at the Scotland v. Argentina game when he refused to shake hands with Madonna.

Madonna famously played Eva Peron in the 1996 movie Don't Cry For Me Argentina, a movie Butcher says he still cannot bring himself to watch, even after the passing of 22 years since the 1986 World Cup quarter-final 2-1 defeat to Argentina.

The singer-turned-actress was at Hampden Park last night to watch Scotland take on the South American footballing giants, and came down to the touchline to meet the coaches and substitutes, and to see if there was anyone worth banging.

She introduced herself to the Argentines, but when she arrived at the Scottish bench, she got quite a surprise. She told us:

"This big guy told me to 'F*ck off'. He said he still hadn't forgiven me for the Hand of God or somethin'. I excused myself, and returned to my seat. It was horrible."

The son of EastEnders now-dead Frank Butcher, the head of the Dealz On Wheelz empire, the ex-Ipswich Town and Rangers stalwart has always been troubled by the Hand of God goal, and has not had a good night's sleep since.

Scotland manager George Burley tried to diffuse the row this morning. He said:

"Terry was a bit upset last night. He now realises his silly mistake. He's had 22 years of hurtin' and still hasn't forgiven Argentina. He's a very proud man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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