Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 14 November 2008

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Drogba: on thin ice

Under-fire Chelsea striker Didier Drogba has apologised for his 'moment of madness' in the Carling Cup-tie on Wednesday night, when he threw a coin into a crowd of Burnley fans, narrowly missing their eyes, and, to make up for it, has tonight made a pledge to help raise money for the Children In Need appeal.

Drogba has pledged to stay on his feet tomorrow against West Bromwich Albion at the Hawthorns.

The Ivory Coast international is an accomplished diver, and regularly takes a tumble in or around the penalty area to gain his team an unfair advantage, but has said he will do his utmost to avoid going down theatrically against the Baggies.

Drogba got into trouble on Wednesday when Lancashire retards threw coins at him after he'd scored, and, having no grasp of right and wrong, he lobbed it back. He later apologised, but now wants to make amends by making a contribution to Children In Need.

He will try to stay on his feet for as long as possible, and wants fans to sponsor him on a pay-per-minute basis. If he manages to stay on his feet for the whole game (some hope!) a bonus payment could be made.

Anyone who wants to sponsor Didier Drogba can do so by accessing the relevant page on the club's website, or by sending donations, as Burnley fans did, to Stamford Bridge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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