Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 14 November 2008

image for Harry Redknapp Faces Further Police Investigation
The Hand That Stroked The Egos

Police from the Met descended on White Hart Lane this morning to investigate a claim that Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp had abused the players' trust, and had 'stroked their egos'.

Redknapp, who took over the job at Spurs less than three weeks ago, has transformed the team with five wins and a draw, but it's what he has done to improve the side's performances that the police are interested in.

One player, on-loan striker Fraizer Campbell, told reporters:

"He got me in his office, and stroked my ego. I didn't hurt. It was quite nice, actually."

Another young member of the team, Jamie O'Hara, said:

"When I got sent off in the UEFA Cup against Udinese, I was very down, but Harry picked me up. He gave my ego a good stroking, and afterwards, I felt much better."

Others have also responded well to the stroking, but one unnamed player complained that he didn't enjoy the experience. He has now notified the police of the incident, saying he felt 'abused'. This morning, police raided Redknapp's office in a search for incriminating evidence, as they did recently at his home in relation to their, as yet, inconclusive Bung enquiries.

A police spokesman said:

"We are investigating an alleged breach of trust. More than that, I cannot say, except that Tottenham have bucked-up a bit, ain't they?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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