Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool football clubs have been called into FA headquarters to '...explain what the fu*k they are playing at'.
FA Chaiman Brian Balddick called an urgent meeting with the Owners and Managers of the clubs concerned to get to the bottom of what he calls 'Fu*king appalling football' over the past couple of weeks and called it a 'disgrace that fans were charged to see that sh*t'.
Referring to Arsenal and Liverpool's recent spankings by Harry 'HorrorFace' Rednapps Tottenham, and Chelsea's penalties defeat to Burnely, Balddick has said that if any of the meeting attendees were to use any phrases resembling expressions such as 'lessons learned' or 'moving forward' in defending their piss-poor performance that he would stab them in the neck right there and then. Reports are that as a result, much of the meeting was enveloped in silence and Arsenals Arsole Winger suffered a superficial knife wound to his left cheek.
Balddick is reported to have considered getting Manchester United in too, however he said to Alkie Fergusson 'those greasy fu*kers Ronhaldo and Molatov saved your miserable arse this time...but watch this space!'.