Ricky Ponting, the captain of Australia, will be summoned to parliament today for an investigation requested by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.
Ponting has been severely criticised by almost every man and his dog over the last two days regarding his now infamous decision making in the final test between India and Australia. Analysts claim Ponting used pie bowlers after tea on the fourth day because he did not want to lose a bet he had made with close mate Hugh Grant. Apparently Grant had wagered Ponting a night at a King's Cross gentlemen's club that the Indian batsmen could not play the Australian spin bowlers with any distinction.
Ponting's eyes lit up and he accepted the bet saying "Grant's an idiot, our bowling attack is as weak as piss".
Ponting, who close sources reckon is now "shitting himself" at the thought of today's meeting loudly defended himself by saying "If you were in charge of the world's worst bowlers what the hell would you do?!!!"
Political analysts predict Ponting will be found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by tickling.