Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 11 November 2008

image for England Cricket Team Suffers From Bad Grammar In Mumbai
That's out, I'm afraid, old chap

The England cricket team is, or 'are', facing enormous problems ahead of the One-Day Series against India, as, for the second time in 10 days, it was, or 'they were', depending on your grammar, skittled-out for less than, or 'fewer than', 100 runs in Mumbai.

Chasing the Mumbai President's XI's rather modest total of 222 for 7, England collapsed to 98 all out, in what was supposed to be the final warm-up match ahead of the seven-match series.

Just last week, in the Stanford Allstar Superseries in Antigua, they were humbled-out for a marginally better 99, and it now seems they are experiencing the 'Nervous Nineties', a condition that usually applies to a batsman when he starts to get within a whiff of his century.

The tension being felt by the team may have something to do with the question over whether they/it should be referred to as a single or a plural noun.

Many commentators write about the England team in a singular way:

"The England team is facing defeat."

Others talk about them in the plural sense:

"The England team are facing defeat."

It's this confusion which is thought to be causing the unrest and lack of concentration amongst the team, and Kevin Pietersen (without an 'o' for goodness sake!) needs to put the grammatical anomaly right quickly, if they are to challenge the Indians in the upcoming, or up-coming, Test Series. (is that right with capitals?)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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