Written by Todd Ricketts
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Monday, 15 June 2009

image for Jose Canseco diagnosed with small testicles!
Conseco's ball. Actual size.

Former major leaguer Jose Canseco has been diagnosed with small testicles stemming from his 25 year steroid binge.

Doctors are working around the clock to find a cure for this dreaded affliction that can cause low birth weight,ratting on your friends and extremely high karaoke singing.

Jose was rushed to cedars-sinai hospital early Monday morning complaining of exhaustion after an all night steroid binge. Jose has been listed in critical condition.

There were unconfirmed reports of anal gerbil ingestion and a cancerous scrotum.

Jose's twin brother Ozzie was being rushed to his side in an attempt to donate a testicle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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