Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Hull City Scare Manchester United Shitless
A clean pair of underpants

Hull City, everyone's favourite 'other club', came up against last year's Premier League champions Manchester United at their Old Trafford this afternoon, and scared them shitless.

Hull went behind to a Ronaldo goal after three minutes, but equalised through Daniel Cousin, only to fall behind to further goals from Carrick and another by Ronaldo.

After the break, Vidic made it 4-1, before the fun really started.

Bernard Mendy pulled a goal back to make the score 4-2, and then Brazilian Geovanni really made Sir Alex Ferguson's sphincter twitch with a penalty to bring it back to 4-3.

The Hull fans roared their heroes on for an equaliser as United put all eleven players behind the ball and clung on for dear life.

Eventually, time ran out and Hull went down to their first away defeat of the season, but after the final whistle, United boss Alex Ferguson had Terry Phelan say:

"We had to hang on at the end. Sir Alex was shitting bricks in the last couple of minutes. We'll take some spare pairs of underpants when we go to the KC Stadium!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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