Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Diego Maradona To Sign For Hull City
Maradona and Windass arrive at Old Trafford

Diego Maradona, the most celebrated Argentinian footballer of all time, is today said to be involved in transfer talks with topflight newboys Hull City, that would make him, not only the oldest player in the Premier League, but also in the world.

The player responsible for the Hand of God goal and the Goal of the Century in the same World Cup quarter-final match against England in 1986, is now 48, but Hull boss Phil Brown feels Maradona still has a lot to offer.

"Aye, the lad's still pretty useful", said Brown, adding "better than that Ronaldo anyhow."

Hull have another notable 'Golden Oldie' in striker Dean Windass, who, at 43, scored the Wembley goal against Bristol City, that took the Tigers to the Premier League. Give the portly Windass a curly Maradona Wig, and the two would look like twins, and they could yet form a deadly partnership that would take the Premiership by storm.

Maradona travelled with the Hull squad to Manchester today for the United match at Old Trafford, but will watch his new teammates from the stands, as they bid to preserve their unbeaten away record against last season's champions.

A veteran of various campaigns with Boca Juniors, Barcelona and Napoli, Maradona has also had personal problems, particularly with drink and drugs, notably, cocaine. He claims to have kicked his habit, but should he resume drugtaking during his spell at the KC, he can rest assured that a plentiful supply is always available on the city's rundown council estates from Baz, Caz, Daz, Gaz or Shaz.

Maradona's agent, Santiago Alvarez de la Luna del Azul, said:

"He may be old, but he's clean, and he knows where the goal is."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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