Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 29 October 2008

image for Tony Adams: "Christmas Has Come Early"
Christmas came early at Pompey

New Portsmouth boss Tony Adams was over the moon that he had been given the chance to succeed former boss, and new Tottenham manager, Harry Redknapp, saying that it was a dream come true, and that Christmas had come early. He said:

"It's a dream! Christmas has come early for me this year!"

Adams went on to tell how the Pompey players had decorated the manager's office and changing rooms with coloured tinsel and lovely sprigs of mistletoe, and how Jermain Defoe planted a huge smacker on Adams' lips as the decision to install the ex-jailbird as manager was announced.

Crackers were pulled, and fake snow was used to create a festive atmosphere, and a large Norwegian conifer tree planted in the Fratton Park semi-circle. To round things off, giant centre forward Peter Crouch dressed in a Santa Claus suit and distributed presents amongst the delighted squad members.

Adams was convicted of drink-driving offences in 1990 when he was still an Arsenal player, and jailed for four months, but the only 'bird' he was thinking of yesterday, was the giant turkey that caterers had cooked for the Pompey Christmas Dinner, brought forward two months to celebrate Adams' appointment.

The team tucked into delicious slices of Roast Turkey, with gammon, pork, roast and mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, peas and sweetcorn, with parsnip and asparagus spears and brussels sprouts. Stuffing was also available.

Adams said:

"It couldn't have been better! I got everything I wanted this Christmas!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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