Written by KendoMonkey
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Topics: Eggs, hands

Thursday, 6 December 2001

image for Safest hands in Britain drops basket of eggs
Artists impression of...some other incident.

Jed Masterson, PE Teacher at Columnworth Primary School in Cheshire, today dropped a whole basket of eggs on his way home from work. The eggs were to be part of an important "egg and spoon" race.

Mr Masterson has won the "Britain's safest hands" competition for four years running, and is said to have tremendous fearlessness and dexterity when it comes to avoiding obstacles that would cause most of us to "drop our loads" and run.

However, Mr Masterson was finally undone when trying to open the door of his car whilst carrying his basket.

"The bizarre thing was that this wasn't part of the award process - I really was just carrying a basket full of eggs to my parent's house in Brighton. I love the way that I can unlock my car using my remote control key, but if you have your hands full, it still doesn't help you open the door!"

"Needless to say, whilst I was struggling with the handle, the basket fell. I didn't get any egg on my face. Just all over my hush-puppies."

Mr Masterson is on his way to Sainsbury's to buy more eggs. And also to whack that annoying Jamie Oliver bloke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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