Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 26 October 2008

image for Chelsea Sack Scolari After Unbeaten Home Record Ends
Fans demand Scolari's head

Chelsea have reacted with a swiftness rarely seen in recent football history, by sacking their Brazilian coach Luis Felipe Scolari, after their 86-game unbeaten home run went out of the window when they were beaten 1-0 at Stamford Bridge by Liverpool.

The Blues proud home record, which stretched back to February 2004, came to a sad and pathetic end when Xabi Alonso scored with a deflected shot on 10 minutes, and Liverpool never looked in trouble after that.

Chelsea ran out of steam, and are now in second with Liverpool leapfrogging them to go top.

After the game, one fool leapt onto the playing surface to voice his disapproval of the defeat, and the rest of the crowd staged a noisy demonstration to demand Scolari's balding head.

The Brazilian, who only took over in the summer, could not believe it as his sacking was announced over the public address system.

It's not known who Scolari's replacement will be, but early front-runners appear to be Juande Ramos, Gus Poyet and Sam Allardyce.

One fan cried into his beer, as he moaned:

"I can't believe it. I never thought we'd lose at home again. I know Monkey Woods warned me, but I didn't listen. I wish I had; now I look a complete fool!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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