Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 19 October 2008

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Tottenham Hotspur, the Premier League football team who just don't know how to win, are to be the subjects of a newly-discovered Shakesperian tragedy to be performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon.

The play, as yet untitled, chronicles the ups-and-downs, but mainly downs, of a troupe of travelling circus performers who take their act around the country, playing to hecklesome audiences who barrack and boo them wherever they go.

A series of poor performances results in turmoil within the troupe, and disintegration into anarchy results. The play has a Latin flavour, with central character Gustavo propping-up the inadequacies of Spanish clown Ramos, who cannot smile.

Other members of the troupe plot the unfortunate Ramos' downfall, some preferring murder, as the circus continues in vain to impress its audiences.

Finally, Ramos disappears amid spiralling confusion, and accusations amongst the circus hierarchy over who is to blame.

It's a tragedy in the true tradition of Shakespeare, full of uncontrolled ambition, cruelty and guilt, and contains a real twist in the tale involving relegation.

Tottenham's relationship with Shakespeare is long-standing. The club first acquired its 'Hotspur' tag from Sir Henry Percy (1364-1403) who was "Harry Hotspur" of Shakespeare's Henry IV, part 1.

Sir Henry would have been most upset by Spurs' current run of poor form.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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