Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 13 October 2008

image for White Hart Lane Burger Van To Sell Vegetable Samosas
This samosa has three points; Tottenham have only two

Fans at White Hart Lane have been finding life hard to bear lately, with Tottenham rooted to the bottom of the Premier League table, but there was a new twist to the saga this morning when Ali Ashraf, the man who owns the burger van outside the ground, announced that, from next week, he will start to sell Vegetable Samosas on matchdays.

Said Ali:

"It's the nearest Spurs fans will get to three points!"

The jovial man of Turkish extraction is, himself, a Tottenham supporter, but hasn't had much to shout about recently, and has decided to try to cheer-up fellow Spurs fans by introducing the three-pointed snack.

Other previous attempts at enticing a smile out of the dour north London diehard fans, have included his Robbie Hot Dog, which went down as Keane as mustard, and a CheeseBerba in recognition of the pouting Bulgarian striker who has now signed for a bigger club, Manchester United.

As Ali put the finishing touches to his Samosa mix, he told our Sports correspondent:

"The fans here is great, innit. Fing is, we need free points from somewhere, so I made the Samosa idea cuz it's got free points! Yeah? Innit!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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