Written by Charlie Van Horn
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Topics: Texas, Cards

Monday, 31 May 2004

image for Wil Wheaton to try the NFL, Texans, Cards interested
Ready for some football?

(HOUSTON, Texas)--Former television star Wil Wheaton has announced his intention to attend training camps in Houston and in Phoenix in an attempt to join an NFL team as a place kicker.

The thirty-one year old actor is ambitious about starting a career so late in life.

"Really, it has been something I always wanted to do" he spoke in a phone interview from his home on Friday. "I just hope the other players and coaches can put the fact that I'm famous behind them and just judge me for what I do on the field"

Special teams' coordinator of the Houston Texans, Joe Marciano, had not yet heard of Wheatons intentions and declined comment. However, Arizona Cardinals special teams coordinator, Kevin Odea, had reacted to the news and had only one brief statement.

"The Arizona Cardinals are a fine club, and if anyone feels they can bring something to this organization, we'll let them at least come in and try. That being said, we would hope that Will Smith (sic) would please go back to being a rap and movie star and leave football to the professionals"

After informing Mr. Odea that it was Wheaton trying out, not Smith, he added.

"Whatever, we don't want no Hollywood types out here, Arizona is pretty happy sucking on our own"

Wheaton has been practicing kicking in his backyard for a few weeks getting ready for camp, and isn't letting the media interfere.

"As much as I love these interviews" he said, "I really need to get back to my training. I got a mean cross-wind coming up out of the valley, and a couple of buddies of mine are going to help me simulate some bad 'snaps'. I don't know exactly what that is, but I bet it must be fun"

The Cardinals begin the season August 15th with a pre-season game against the Minnesota Vikings.

"That should be fun" quipped Wheaton, "Kicking inside should be a thrill"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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