Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for BBC Sack Mark Lawrenson For Rubbish Predictions
Everton 4 Liverpool 6 Manchester United 10 Bolton 2

Mark Lawrenson, the BBC football pundit who appears on Match of the Day, and also makes score predictions on the BBC website, has been sacked for being inaccurate and uninteresting.

Lawro, as he is known, regularly pops up on Radio 5 Live as well, sounding like someone has just disturbed him from his slumbers. Last week, he told listeners to the station:

"wait until I put me pyjamas on."

It is Lawro's pathetic guesswork that has riled BBC bosses though, and football supporters commenting on the BBC 606 website have constantly complained that they, themselves, regularly make better predictions than the ex-Liverpool defender.

Lawrenson's former Anfield team-mate, Alan Hansen, said:

"Mark couldn't predict the winner in a Man Utd/Bury match, let alone the weekly Premiership matches. He's useless!"

The last straw came this week as Lawro predicted that Liverpool would beat Everton 6-4 in the Merseyside derby at the weekend.

A BBC spokesman said:

"It was time for Lawro to move on. The viewers are fed up of his 'guesses', the 'withered prune' look, and his cheap knitwear."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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