Written by Montague Montgomery
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Wednesday, 24 September 2008

The Premiership was rocked today by another takeover. At a press conference early this afternoon a representative from Newchester Athletic confirmed that the club had been taken over by a new owner from another galaxy.

Graham Sprout told reporters that money just wasn't available on Earth at the moment due to a sudden decline in absolutely everything. The only source for new funds was to find someone from 'another planet'.

The new Klingon chairman, Kathless the Unforgettable, promised the new team would show true 'warrior' spirit setting out to antagonise the opposition similar to the might of the Leeds Utd teams of the seventies.

A new stadium, the Kronos, will be built without objection from anyone after threats of extinction to the human race were handed out. Also Kathless wants at least one Klingon in the first team.

'I see someone like Worf to be an ideal midfield general,' he said in thlIngan Hol.

Kelvin Keegan was rumoured to be close to agreeing to become manager of the new club but problems arose about a clause to leave 'if results didn't go as well as hoped'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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