Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 20 September 2008

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No fans are in the ground yet

There was great excitement tonight, ahead of tomorrow's big match, when Manchester United travel to Stamford Bridge to take on Chelsea in the battle of last season's Premiership Top Two.

United haven't exactly impressed this season, and currently lie in 15th. Anything worse than a 2-0 defeat would see them drop into the bottom three for the first time since 1974.

A Chelsea win would see them go top.

Speculation arose this week as to where Cristiano Ronaldo might choose to play next year, when Blues' boss Big Phil Scolari said that he would love to tempt the Portuguese winger to Stamford Bridge.

Ronaldo himself refused to comment, responding only with a wink.

The latest score is 0-0. Kick-off is at 2pm.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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