Written by Monkey Woods
Print this

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

image for Steve Gerrard Demands Pay Rise
Football - an expensive business these days

Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard scored both his side's goals in a 2-1 Champions League win in Marseille last night, and immediately slapped in an enormous pay claim to double his present salary.

Already on £100,000-a-week, Gerrard believes his match-winning abilities are worth twice as much to Liverpool, and thinks that the Reds fans would willingly fork out so that he could become a new millionaire every five weeks.

The England international has already shown his worth for Liverpool this season, when he scored an unlikely winner against Middlesbrough recently, and claims to have the backing of supporters.

This news will come as a surprise to fans.

He also claimed the rising rate of inflation meant even he was "feeling the pinch".

Gerrard said after scoring his brace:

"The annual rate of UK inflation rose to 4.7% in August from 4.4% the month before, a higher-than-expected jump.

In a letter to the chancellor Alistair Darling, the Bank of England governor Mervyn King warned that inflation could reach a rate of 5% before falling back.

Mr King blamed food and energy price rises for inflation rising beyond the government's 2% target.

Inflation as measured by the Retail Prices Index (RPI) - often used in pay negotiations - fell to 4.8% from 5%.

Times are hard. I need more cash!"

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 3?

8 4 13 10
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more