Manchester UK: Man city moved quickly today to sign Ronald McDonald from the giant burger chain McDonalds.
After attempts to sign various Ronalds, Ronaldhino from AC Milan, superstar Ronaldo from Man Utd and fat boy, not slim, brazillian Ronaldo, manager Mark Hughes settled for the enigmatic burger clown.
Hughes said - "After all the disappointments we have had, we had to get someone in with the Ronald connection. We really wanted someone with the Ronald name to come to City to raise our profile round the world. We couldn't sign the others so we settled for fourth best, something we have been doing against our North west rivals United, Liverpool and Everton for donkeys years."
Asked about his style of play, Hughes said - "Well he'll certainly be good for dressing room moral with his clown outfits and smiley face and he can always help out if we're short staffed in the canteen, though we'll probably change his footwear to something more appropriate."
With a stinging remark about his predecessor, Sven Goran Eriksson, Hughes went on "If anything he'll fit in with the rest of the clowns the previous manager bought"
Ronald McDonald said - "Yipee, you want fries with that?"
Meanwhile over in Abu Dhabi, city owner Fahim al alabababalabalad the Turd moved quickly to deny buying Ronald McDonald was a gimmick - "There is no truth in the rumour we have bought Ronald to market Man Citys name around the world, although we do have plans to re name the club as Mac'chester Big Mac Mc'City"